


ugly sweaters all the way down

by Dresupi



Category: Thor (Movies), X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Awesome Darcy Lewis, Darcy Lewis is the fandom bicycle and I love it, Established Relationship, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Humor, Nipple Play, Nudity, SHIP DARCY LEWIS WITH ALL THE THINGS, Strip Tease, Stripping, Ugly Holiday Sweaters, Ugly Sweaters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 12:29:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13100145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dresupi/pseuds/Dresupi
Summary: Scott's being his typical grumpy self, and Darcy resolves to cheer him up using the tools at her disposal.  Her wit.  Her humor.  And her bazoombas.Or:The one with three ugly sweaters and a Rudolph bra.





	ugly sweaters all the way down

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dubstep_Wombat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dubstep_Wombat/gifts).



> December 22 - "Bah Humbug"
> 
> Special thanks to phoenix_173 for betaing this for me! :D

From the second Darcy saw him there in the common room, all she could think was _‘Bah Humbug_ ’.   

Of course, it _was_ Scott.  So it wasn’t that much of a stretch to equate him to a traditional holiday grouch.  

He was kind of a grouch all the time.  But it was especially apparent during the winter holidays, however secular and non-specific they were, he always looked so much sadder amongst all the merriment.  She wasn’t sure if it was that he was actually grouchtacular during December, or if it was the comparative joy that made him seem that way.  

But regardless, he was grumping all over the common room. And had been grumping all over the mansion for the past few weeks.  Ever since Thanksgiving.  

And so, Darcy decided that she would cheer him up. No matter what.  They had a _thing,_ she and Scott. Some kind of _thing_ .  She wasn’t sure what the _thing_ was, and there were no definitions forthcoming from the Grinch himself or whatever.  But she figured that because of the aforementioned _thing_ , it was on her to cheer him up.  

Cheering up and sex.  Those were on her.  Maybe a combination of the two. (Which was where her gift idea had come from).  

No one deserved to be grouchy during the holidays. Not even the X-Men’s resident sadface, Scott Summers.  So, in lieu of buying him some gift he’d probably thank her for and then forget, Darcy got creative with her holiday purchases.

She flopped down on the sofa beside him.  “Why the long face, Shades?”  

He shrugged, rubbing his hands on the legs of his jeans before crossing his arms over his front.  “It’s not especially long, is it?”  

“You cannot pull the resting bitch face excuse for everything, dude. There’s a certain point where it ceases to be resting bitch and you become the resident edgelord.”  

He scoffed in that way he had, but then he slumped further in his seat.  “I dunno, Darce.  I just hate this time of year.  The food.  The songs.  The… “ he trailed off and shivered.  “Togetherness.”  

“Nah, I get that. Get-togethers are the worst,” she agreed.  “So much pressure.  Secret Santa…”  

“Yeah!  I got Logan this year.  What the hell am I supposed to get for Logan?  I got him cigars.  I don’t care if it’s against the rules to give alcohol or tobacco products.  Jubilee would be singing a different tune if she was faced down with buying Wolverine a sweater.”  

“Jubilee said no booze or smokes?”

“Yeah… something about actually getting to know your gift recipient. Like Logan wouldn’t notice if _I_ was getting all chummy with him or something.”  Scott laughed dryly.  “I don’t talk to him unless it’s to bark an order… which he ignores.”  He shrugged once more.  “Cigars. At least I know he’ll be able to use them. Gifts are worthless.  Corporate, materialistic… bullshit.”  

“So, like.  If I were to _have_ a gift for you… would you want me to return it?”  Darcy asked.  

“You got me something?” he asked, turning to face her.  His face was the very epitome of Scott Summers-Surprise. Which was barely even a subtle difference from Scott Summers-Default.  Hell, even subtle was an over exaggeration.  But Darcy knew her fella. She hoped.  

“Four somethings, actually.”  

He raised his eyebrows.  “See?  This is what I was talking about.  You and I never talked about this.  And now I feel like a jerk for not buying you anything and--”  

“It’s actually… something for me?  But it’s for _you_ at the same time?”  

“Oh.   _OH_.”  They were moving into Scott Summers-Intrigued territory now.

“Yeah…” she grinned and pushed up off the sofa.  “Wanna come back to my room and I’ll show you?”    

* * *

 

“You know… I’m not sure you understand how lingerie works, Darce…” Scott said with a slight frown.  

She looked down at her chest, jingling the bells on the front of her hideous holiday sweater. It was the first of three, and she was pretty sure she’d found some of the worst ones in existence.  This particular one was oversized and had a reindeer chest-bursting from the front amid a nest of red tinsel and jingle bells.  “I never said I got lingerie, dude... that was all _your_ dirty little mind filling in blanks.”

His mouth twitched at the corner.  “Okay, fair enough.  What’s the gift? Is the sweater the gift?  Because I gotta say...”  

She pulled out her phone and swiped around for a moment, finally finding what she was looking for on the spotify app.  Pressing play, her phone blasted ‘Run, Run Rudolph’. It was a short song, so she made sure to press the ‘repeat’ feature.

Darcy couldn’t tell if he was laughing or not, because he covered his mouth with his hand. His foot bounced rapidly, though.  So he was at least amused.  

She shimmied her shoulders.  “Alright, get ready for your striptease, Scott.”  

“I’m glad you told me.  I wasn’t prepared,” he deadpanned.  

Rolling her eyes, she reached down and pushed her leggings down over her hips.  “Just… gird your loins, Summers. And no touching.  Not till I see a smile on that face.”    

She rocked her hips in time to the music, tugging up on the hem of the sweater and teasing him with tiny glimpses of what was underneath.  Namely, a pair of green satin panties and two more ugly sweaters.  It was just ugly sweaters all the way down.  

His hand was still over his mouth, but his leg was bouncing even harder.  And she could tell that he appreciated the sneaky peeks of thigh and green satin she was flashing him.  

Just because they hadn’t defined their relationship didn’t mean she hadn’t figured out how to rev his engine.  His grumpy, but surprisingly kinky, engine.

The big, oversized sweater came up and over her head, falling in a heap of sad, muffled jingles on the floor by her feet.  

Of course, the one underneath was practically indescribable.  

Bright, fluorescent orange.  With gold stitching and tinsel.  And a pom-pom snowman on a stripper pole.  (The pole was actually a really thick length of gold cord.)  

Scott snorted slightly, dropping his hand from his mouth as his leg still bounced.  “So classy, Darcy.”  Still no smile, though.

“I know, right?” she teased.

This one wasn’t as long as the one before it, and she didn’t have to pull it up to flash her panties or her thighs.  She took advantage of that by moving just a little more to the music.  

This particular sweater was a little more difficult to take off, but only because she was trying not to bring the last ugly sweater with it.  There were two more glorious layers and she wanted Scott to get a good look at both.  

The third ugly sweater was a crop top deal.  And it was one she’d actually had to make herself.  They didn’t sell the crop top ones in the store, go figure.  

She’d covered it with purple tinsel and shiny sequins.  

That one didn’t get any kind of vocal reaction from Scott, but his leg had stopped bouncing as he watched her move.  

Maybe she’d missed her mark with the ugly on this one.  

Or maybe her guy was just too worked up to care what she was wearing.  That was a distinct possibility.  

She moved closer to him, sliding one leg across his lap as she climbed up onto the bed with him.  

His hands moved to sit loosely at her waist and she smacked them away, arching an eyebrow as she ground against his lap.  “No touching, Scott.”  

“Not really fair, since it’s my present and all…” he grumbled, his brow furrowing as she rocked against him.  Brow-furrows were the opposite direction she wanted to take him, but he knew the rules.

“You don’t get to touch until I turn that frown upside down,” she reminded him.

“I could just fake a smile and be done with it…” he said.  

“You wouldn’t cheat, would you?” she asked, pouting slightly.  

He shook his head.  “Nah.”  

“That’s good. Because the best part is coming!”  She punctuated by whipping off her teeny sweater and revealing the bra she’d worn underneath.  It was slightly too small.  Because big boobs and novelty bras don’t mix, apparently.  

But she figured she’d gotten the spirit of the thing right at least.  Two reindeer heads comprised the cups.  With red noses where her… ahem… nipples were.  

Or where they _would_ be if she had itty-bitty breasts and could actually wear this bra unironically.  

He snorted loudly, covering his mouth.  

“Wait, wait…” she said, reaching for the side and pressing the little button she found there.  She could tell it worked because his shoulders started to shake with laughter.  He grinned widely..  

“Those reindeer look so sad…” he chortled.

Scott laughing wasn’t anything to write home about if you were coming in blind.  Thor’s big booming laugh was certainly louder.  And Wanda’s snorty-goose laugh was funnier by far.  

But coming from someone who scarcely smiled, that little soft laugh was the best thing ever.  

Darcy grinned and reached for his hands, cupping them under her breasts and pushing them up.  “All yours, big guy.”  

He pushed them up.  Too high for things to remain where they started.  And Darcy groaned softly as her nipples popped over the edge of the cups.  His thumbs rolled the rapidly stiffening peaks as he leaned in to press a hot kiss to her throat.  

One hand disappeared, only to reappear at her back whilst fiddling with the clasp on her bra.  

It popped open soon enough and the sad, stretched out reindeer disappeared.  

“Much better,” he whispered, reaching for her phone next.   

Darcy wasn’t complaining.   _Someone_ needed to make that song stop.   

“So, do you like your gifts?” she asked, waggling her eyebrows in what she hoped was a comical way.  

He smiled up at her.  “I do.  They were perfect.  Now, you’re gonna have to tell me if you like yours…”  

“Thought you said you didn’t get me anything…”  she teased.

“I forgot.  I _do_ have something for you.  And it’s just your size.”  

“If you give me your dick in a box, Scott, I swear to Thor…”

He smirked and stood up, bringing her with him and turning so he could flop her down on her back on the edge of the bed.  He knelt down on the floor in front of her and draped her legs over his shoulders.  “No, that’s not until later…” he murmured, nosing over her satin panties.  

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me some extra special, extra jolly, extra sugary love in the comments, please?


End file.
